Going to Church Hurts (An Update on My Experiment)

Ah, I’ve been meaning to post a real update for a few days now, rather than just continually reblogging stuff that I’ve seen floating around. In this post, I’ll give a quick update on my non-churchgoing experiment as well as a quick, preview of a life update in general, since I feel like a lot has happened since my arrival here at SIL (but then again, a lot happening seems to be the theme of my 2015 anyway, so go figure). In addition, I hope that anyone who’s reading this is having a marvelous summer. As usual, regardless of whether you know me personally or not, feel free to get in contact with me, whether that’s through an email, message, or following the blog and commenting. I love connecting with people, and I feel like I almost haven’t had time for that this summer!

Alright, so in terms of my churchgoing experiment, it’s definitely been an interesting experience to say the least. As of today (which is a Sunday, conveniently), I either haven’t been to church in 6 weeks or 0 weeks. In case that doesn’t make sense, I went to church this morning, because I was back at home and I felt like it might be good to see what it feels like to be back after a significant period of time. Results: lackluster and strange. Lackluster because I didn’t have this magical moment where God showed me that going to church was actually awesome and that I should start going again right away. And strange because while I genuinely missed it, I also found myself questioning why I was there the whole time.

Let me explain.

Advertisement

Grey Area

So I’ve already written a lot about this topic on here, but I recently had the opportunity to have an article published on Bedlam Magazine, so I’m just going to leave that right here. In it, I talk briefly about same-sex relationships, the conclusions I’ve come to regarding them, and how Christians can view them differently.

http://www.bedlammag.com/grey-area-an-alternate-perspective-on-same-sex-relationships-from-a-gay-christian/

making sense of the seemingly insensible (on same-sex relationships)

This post will conclude what is, in my mind, a three part series on what I believe about and what God has been teaching me about celibacy and relationships in regards to LGBT Christians. Of course, that doesn’t mean that I’m done talking about those things. I just feel like all three of these posts are intricately tied together, which is why I’ll link to them here as well in case you haven’t read them.

Part One: when the church talks about celibacy

Part Two: what celibacy really means (for same-sex relationships)

So take a look at those two posts if you haven’t read them yet. Hopefully you’ll see that they all sort of flow together.

Finally, one last thing before I get started on this post. Don’t forget that at the bottom of every page on this blog there’s a button you can press to subscribe via email. That way, you’ll get an email every time I post something new. So go and do that if you care to follow along with what I’m writing. I always love to connect with new people, share thoughts, and see what they have to say.

for the honor…

Today has been a really crazy day. I went public with this blog for the first time in three months, which is just insanity for me. I don’t think people realized how unnerved I was and anxious for what the response would be (it was fantastic; all of you have been wonderful, and I’m so thankful for that). At the same time, the Lord gently nudged my spirit and reminded me to keep my eyes on Him and that this isn’t about me or the words that I’ve written.

So, in this really short post, I just want to thank everyone who has been really supportive of everything and also reiterate that none of this is my own doing. Everything that’s written here, everything that has happened, every response has been by the grace and blessing of the Father. It’s unreal. And trust me, nothing of what I’ve written here was by my own wisdom. I’m just a clueless human. Anything that anyone resonates with, anything that impacts any of you, it’s all God. It’s all Him. These are just things that He’s been so kindly and patiently teaching me over the past few months. All the glory is His. All of it.

And it’s been incredible. It really has. God has been so good in revealing His plan and His word to me, and I can honestly say that I’ve never felt closer to Him or stronger in my faith than right now. He is an amazing God. Don’t ever forget.

Also, listen to this song, because I basically want this song to define my life and everything that I write here.

Jesus loves you. If you ever find yourself doubting that, please come talk to me. He loves you more than you could possibly imagine.

what celibacy really means (for same-sex relationships)

I just want to start off this post by saying that I’ve been wanting to write this specific post for a long time. What I’m about to write here is something that I truly believe God has personally taught me, and the reason that I waited to write it is because I wanted to make sure that I was right with Him and knew exactly what I wanted to say, because this is something that’s (possibly) so simple and yet shook my whole world and turned it upside down. It’s that important to me (and most likely for many of you).

Basically what I want to do in this post is articulate what exactly I believe celibacy means for gay Christians. I’ve already expressed my frustration with the way that the church chooses to handle and talk about celibacy in another article which I’ll link to here, but in this post I want to talk about what celibacy actually looks like, in a realistic and practical way, because I believe that the church and most Christians do not have a correct understanding of what celibacy is and what it requires, something that profoundly affects daily life for gay Christians and the way that they interact with the church. Finally, I also think that having a correct definition of celibacy can be very freeing for gay Christians who feel “stuck.” This should be just radical enough to shake things up a bit.

when the church talks about celibacy

I’m going to be really honest. It’s gotten increasingly difficult for me to listen to almost any pastor on the issue of homosexuality in regards to faith, which is just another reason that I’m so thankful for people like John Pavlovitz who are willing to go out on a limb on things like this and say things that are encouraging for people like us (see previous post). That’s just my shameless plug for this post. But anyway, I say all of that, because I was at church just this past weekend and at the end of a sermon that seemed to have absolutely nothing to do with homosexuality or gay issues at all (it was focused on the interaction between Paul and one of the churches he planted), the pastor decided to start talking about it.

a c c e p t e d

Hmm. I still can’t seem to figure out how to get these links to properly embed in my posts…oh well…I’ll just continue to post the URLs old-fashioned style and what not. The link below is to a video that I just watched today, one that I think is very powerful.

http://www.faithit.com/christian-woman-present-much-powerful-approach-homosexuality-pray-gay-away/