a case against self-defense

As many people know, Love Does is one my absolute favorite books. Aside from the incredible stories of the things that God can do when we open ourselves up to all of the very real possibilities, I think that part of the reason I like this book is that the stories also exemplify a sort of selflessness that we may or may not have thought much about before, selflessness in the form of complete unconditional and unabashed love. And I think that’s pretty cool.

If you watch any TV at all or happen to read any sort of article/magazine/what have you on relationships, it seems to me that they all try to get you to play this game where you sort of hint at your own feelings while making sure that there’s still enough space to play it off in case the other person isn’t feeling the same thing, and I don’t really like that making relationships has deteriorated to that in our culture. I think I resonate a lot more with some of these lyrics.

“I want to live like there’s no tomorrow, love like I’m on borrowed time.”

  • Good to Be Alive (Jason Gray)


“If I found out the world was going to end on Tuesday morning, I’d call everyone I loved and say what I was scared to say ‘til then. And now that I think about it, maybe I should always live like the world is going to end.”

  • Like the World is Going to End (Ben Rector)


You shouldn’t need to be embarrassed of the way you love. You shouldn’t have to worry about whether or not this person “finds out” that you’re interested. Because, in my opinion anyway, life is too short to play those kinds of games. Since when did love become about trying to outwit another person anyway? Yeah, you might be making yourself vulnerable and you might get hurt in the process, but that’s going to happen even if you go around in circles. It just might not be as obvious, because everything was so lowkey to begin with.

Besides, I think that’s also the way that Jesus loves us. He doesn’t worry if we’re going to “find out” that He loves us. He wants us to know, even if some of us still turn our backs on it anyway. And I think that maybe that can be one of the biggest countercultural things that we can do. I mean, the worlds thinks that’s crazy, just putting yourself out there and seeing what happens, making yourself vulnerable like that, but that’s how He loves us, so shouldn’t we do the same?

Anyway, lol at the fact that this post is so short and probably not written very well (because I’m finding that my ability to English is deteriorating), but I’ve just had a lot of time for writing and reflection recently (unfortunately, I’m finding that I’m unable to make it any more literary that what you’ve got in front of you, which means it gets turned into a blog post). Plus, I haven’t written a post in quite some time.

As for some parting words (since my posting is SO sporadic), I’ve been finding that studying abroad is about so much more than just doing school in a different country. I mean, I knew that it would be more than that to begin with, but it’s so interesting to actually experience. It forces you to deal with a lot of things from the past and present, it forces you to get to know yourself a lot better than you thought you did, and most of all, I think it definitely forces you to rely more on God and seek Him on your own time that you would normally at home. And while all of those things are so good, a lot of them are also hard to live through in the moment, especially while reminding yourself to be present in the place that you are, because it will fly by before you know it.

Well, that’s my scattered blog post of the day/week/month/who knows.

Until the next time you find yourself reading something that I happen to have written (which will hopefully also be written better).


2 thoughts on “a case against self-defense

  1. Good thoughts! I think we can all stand to be a little more courageous in our love (I know I can). As I was reading your words, though, I found myself thinking that being rejected or hurt isn’t what I’m usually afraid of. Personally, I hate making people feel uncomfortable (though, obviously it’s not the worst thing in the world). Also, being willing to call out your love when it’s one sided can potentially end or permanently mar what could have been a great relationship. Anyway, maybe that’s just my own fear talking. Thanks for the post and good luck in your studies!


    1. Hey thanks!
      And yeah, those things are definitely true. I guess for me and what I was thinking about while I wrote this was the sort of cliché phrase “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.” It may be true that it might make some people uncomfortable and that it might change the nature of the relationship, but in the end, I’d hope that if the relationship is worth keeping that the other person would be able to be mature enough to make sure that doesn’t happen.
      But then again, maybe I’m just romanticizing the whole situation, haha.


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